The Miracle of Insight

Details continually flow together to set us up for insight.

The latest insight involves relaxing in handstand to allow the weight come down through the arms, softening the Levitor Scapulae.

This comes from a river of recent and long ago encounters:

1. I was inspired to start geeking out on the shoulders again after reading an article by Doug Keller.
2. I was lead to the article by a dialogue on Facebook in which Doug said, "An honest student is 1000 times more valuable to you ... than a strong-willed and persuasive teacher; we parrot our teachers, but learn from our students."
3. I went to LA over Labor Day Weekend to study with Doug at The Hub.
4. On Saturday we spent time with the Doshas and Assessment. On Sunday we spent 4 hours on the shoulders and 2 hours on History of Yoga Philosophy.
5. One of the main pieces I took from the workshop was the practice of relaxing the levitor scapula in down dog, pinca mayurasana, sirsasana and
   
6. A client on Saturday had the insight that she was not allowing her legs to hold her up...that she did not trust them for support. She created the opening for me.
   
7. I watched a video wtih Patricia Sullivan from Crib 07 explain that the Sacrum is like the Keystone of the Arch for the Legs.
8. On Friday I was practicing Handstands. I imagined the architecture of the arch. I felt the region of the levitor scapula as a triangle like the sacrum. I allowed it to be the keystone and I relaxed and all of a sudden I got the dopey easy gooey feeling and I was balanced.
9. On Saturday I tried to share this insight, it was not communicated.
   
10. I practiced some more on Sunday, baking the feeling in more. And drawing from the Rivers of Schiffmann's Heavy Hand Down Dog and Heavy Shin distance from Wall Techniques. Feeling that sense of trusting my arms.
    
11. On Monday, this morning, W. got it and hung out in her handstand in a whole new way.

Delightful!

This mystery is continually conspiring to reveal itself. We just have to open our eyes and look.

The End to the Yoga Anxiety Dream

For almost 10 years now I occasionally have had a "Yoga Teaching Anxiety Dream".  The dream involves my trying to teach a yoga class in impossible situations.  Some examples include:

- Two movie theaters simultaneously 

- In house with everyone in different rooms

- Several ballrooms in a hotel

- In an office with everyone in cubicles

And other such scenes.  All the dreams involve people coming and going as I am trying to offer the class.   The anxiety came from the worry that they aren't connecting to the yoga and worse, that they weren't connecting with me.

As I have shared in more detail in my other blogs, I have been in a effortfull cycle of trying to will love for my entire life.  Teaching yoga is a pretty good choice for someone as needy as I was.  People feel better through yoga  and they associate that high with you.  As a teacher you benefit from this false transference of affection.  So, naturally, if this is part of the motivation, even if its unconscious as it was for me for a long time, it will tighten your conditions of love.  You will have little tolerance for situations and people that do not allow for this transferance.

So last night's dream started out similarly.  I was scheduled to sub a Bikram class.  I show up and it's happening in a large stadium like bar.  Girls are setting up their mats on bleacher like slabs of concrete.  I start to introduce myself to them and they are super rude and bratty.  In the dream I knew it was not about me.  I felt relaxed about their moods and who they were showing up as.   I continue towards the front of the room and encounter a group of guys drinking beer.  I ask if they are going to be taking the class and they say yes.  And while I am surprised, I feel soft and open towards them.  The dream continued with my subbing Bikram in several different awkward locations like a parking lot and a pool area.  The scenario was the same with people coming and going and not paying attention and all was fine.

I feel delighted.  I have not yet published the writing I have been doing around this recent unraveling.  Something I have been calling "Loosening the Conditions of Love".  But the results are being revealed to me in my dreams.

Yoga Basics, 5:15pm Monday

11 Peeps

1 New

The same group has been showing up for a while to the basics class so we have been able to "progress" towards a pretty sophisticated place.  So tonight when a total newbie, who has never inhabited his body showed up it shifted the pace.  

As a teacher, you are always dependent upon who shows up.  Managing the expectations of the regulars with the needs of the new kid is a high art.  My strategy seems to be to slow things way down and offer geeky details for the regulars that creates the space and time to connect with and assist the new person.

Opening

Supine

Low Back Sacrum Awareness

Breath Awareness

Apanasana

Hand to Big Toe Pose with Strap

Easy Cross Legged Seat

Sacrum Awareness

Forward Fold

Switch Legs

Repeat Other Side

Slumpy Dandasana

Chest Press Dandasana

Squat

Uttanasana

Roll up to Standing

Shoulder Shrugs

Transition to Wall

Splat Pose

Shoulder Opener at Wall

Splat

Right Angle

Uttanasana

Roll up to Tadasana

Tadasana with Ujayyi Pranayama

1/4 Salutes

Lunge Salute at Wall with Breath Focus

Splat

Right Angle

Lunge @ Wall

Tadasana

Repeat Other Side

Shoulder Awareness Sequence

Bow n Arrow Stage 1

Interlaced Hands over Head

Interlaced Hands with Forward Fold

Release and Roll Up to Standing

Repeat Other Side

Tadasana

Down Dog @ Wall Play

2 Rounds

(The emphasis was on finding the wrapping work in the shoulder in down dog.  I worked with the new guy on a chair).

Down Dog Standard with lots of emphasis on the shoulders

Childs Pose

Transition onto Backs

Windshield Wiper Pose

Bridge Pose Stage 1

Bridge Pose x 2

Knees to Chest

Eye of Needle

Easy Spinal Twist

Knees to Chest

Happy Baby Pose

Savasana

Stiff White Guys, Sunday 10:00

This was such a hard class to teach.

The energy of the peeps was really divergent. The injuries were wide and diverse.
Strong athletes, a man with no cartilage in his wrist, a woman with a gnarly back, knee and hip and wrist injury, a pregnant woman, etc. 3 brand new peepp. 10 total.

There was a bike race in town and all the traffic was rerouted past the studio. Many harleys. Lots of noise,

It's Monday Night, and I am not sure exactly what I taught.
But I avoided Down Dog cuz of the wrist stuff and focused on standing postures.
We did lots of shoulder opening cuz one woman mentioned that she had tight shoulders.
We geeked out on creating space in the pelvis. We used the block. We focused on the standng postures of Parsvottansna and Warrior 3. We did bridge pose. We twisted. I felt a little lost the whole time.

It was one of those classes that you never quite drop into and relax. You are hearing the guidance and following it, but there is a thread of uncertainty.

At the end, of course, it was "the perfect class" for everyone. But I was totally spent. I had given all I could and poof, there was nothing left.

Sharing Sequences

The sequences that actually get taught in class are almost always the result of who shows up. This includes me and my latest curiosities within my life and practice as well as all the practitioners. It is a familiar story among teachers to arrive at class with an idea of what you might do, only to be greeted with a set of circumstances that require the ability to spontaneously pull something totally new and unique together. But spontaneity takes practice and the willingness to not know what is going to happen.

When I first started teaching, I was lucky enough to be teaching Bikram in a Christina McCleod's Yoga Source in Palo Alto. I was able to practice leading people through the bends and twists without the additional burden of creating the sequence. Slowly, however, I began to tweak the postures and offer my own take. I started to notice injuries and have ideas about how to modify the shapes. I was also starting to be exposed to other forms of yoga and I eventually took the leap and started my own vinyasa classes.

At the time, I had a full time job and was teaching on the side. But I would spend hours at my "real job" preparing for my yoga classes, writing out sequences and talking them through in my head. When I got to the class, I had my sequences down. And of course, they would get tweaked a little, but not much. I relied on my ability to flow the group though the postures at a pace that would leave almost no time for questions. While ultimately limiting for me, this way of teaching allowed me to develop sequences that I still sometimes pull out. Like favorite recipes, it is super helpful to have reliable combinations to fall back on.

It was not until I moved to Ojai and began teaching full time that I started to really notice the actual needs of the community coming to class. My ability to weave and spin a creative vinyasa sequence became less interesting as exploring the possibility of actually teaching someone how to feel Yoga.

I started a class called 'Stiff White Guys Yoga' that drew a group that required that I create and learn an entirely new approach. I now allow my teaching to be awkward and exploring. Sometimes the sequence is clumsy. Sometimes brilliant and inspired. I seem to work in 3 week arcs. Meaning, I will hone in on idea, a technique, or theme and explore it across my classes in different directions.

In starting this particular blog, it is my intention to practice sharing these sequences. To share the creative process that is not always "successful", but always keeps the teaching fresh and new.

xo
k